You’re the first of your kind. You have no censorship, you tell it how it is, sometimes how it’s not and somehow it’s still alright. You’re honest and unmerciful. You’re a world. You’re a wide source of information, images, ideas, and realities made for us to consume, mineralize and digest. You can be a dark hole of distractions, false realities, and illusions. Everyone is smiling, everyone’s in their Sunday’s best, everyone has mastered the complexities of life, have they? They are frolicking through a field of lilies, effortlessly doing cartwheels and backflips into their big pot of gold. So engulfed in what they are doing I miss the goodness around me. You make me insecure am I even doing enough? Leave one task unfinished to hurry on to the next, what is the rush? Have I lost myself? Who even am I?
Some manipulate your energy to reflect their insecurities and dissatisfaction onto others. I read ” I hate you, you’re a fucking whore” I keep scrolling, accepting that this person through you has a voice, and just as the good has a place in the world so does the bad. They too, have probably fell into your dark hole and can’t get out. I’ve practiced discretion to salvage what’s dear to me, but the goal is freedom from all my inhibitions so I compromise and give you everything, in return I learn a thing or two. I scroll, this post makes me angry, I scroll, this image brings me pleasure, I scroll, this link arouses me, I scroll, now I’m fearful. Increasing my vulnerability, I’m becoming more susceptible to feelings of anxiety and depression. You tell me I’m wrong and they’re right, she’s perfect and I’m not, he’s living the life and I’m living hell, but I’m still hooked, maybe I’m a masochist for this type of tough love.
I conclude, your purpose is valid. These feelings are human and you remind that, that is exactly what I am. You were created in the likes of the human brain; i.e. motherboard. So it’s no mystery why I feel we mirror each other. You’re a web. You connect us all, to share, to learn. We became worldly from our couches and screens. You’ve helped spread awareness on things that go on behind our backs but right in our own backyards. We are now all activists standing up for our own sense of what’s right. You made us pay attention. I thank you for this honesty. You gave introverts a voice, you gave extroverts a platform. You push me to work harder, you taught me patience and unconditional love for all. Through your uncondensed modus you’ve taught me resilience. I harness your cold, unfiltered truths as it makes me tender, more alive and whole. I show you mercy, in the hopes that you continue to remind me of everything that I am not, so that I know who I am.